We reached twenty years of wedded bliss last week. NB: it’s not so much the wedding per se, but the on-going commitment to each other. It has been tough at times, as is the case in any relationship, but we are still together, and glad to be together, and looking forward to the next twenty years, and hopefully another twenty after that, all going well health-wise.
If you have read Mary Doria Russell’s book, The Sparrow, you may recall that at one point, Anne Edwards, an older woman, reflects on the nature of her marriage of several decades to George. She says that she has been married to several men, but as it turns out, it has always been to the same man. What she means is that over the years both she and her husband have changed, and every ten years or so, they have changed so much that there comes a time when each of them needs to think, do I still want to be married to this person. In her case, as it turns out, each time she has been able to recommit to George. But she sees this as a matter of good fortune, as much as anything else.
Mr Strange Land drives me to frustration, at times. As I am sure I do to him. But having been through some rough times (notably, infertility, and two PhDs, all known marriage breakers), I know that we have been very lucky to have changed and grown in such a way that we can still be together, we can keep on making the commitment to each other, and my life is much the richer for it.
Mr Strange Land and I do not give each other wedding anniversary presents. Our custom is to have a good meal together, either at home, or out, depending, and to buy something together, for us. Even so, the strangelings made a card for us with this Lolcat:
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