I wrote about real estate agent Jo Lemmer’s appalling racism a couple of days ago. She published a column beginning with: “There’s a black man in the White House and the good news is this one’s not breaking in!” and then she denied that it was offensive.
Now she’s issued an “apology.”
After much soul searching I have come to the realisation that my comments were entirely inappropriate and I offer a heart felt apology to all I offended. …
I now see that whilst my remarks were not intended that way it was sheer naivety in fact ignorance on my part to believe that in this day and age they would be taken in the context that I intended. I now see that my attempts at humour have indeed caused hurt, humiliation and offence to the wider community and for that I wish to extend a genuine heartfelt apology.
My comments were glib and I do concur that they should not have been said or tolerated. I was wrong and am happy to admit so.
…
I am not a racist but I am guilty of ignorance and I look forward to addressing this issue further in my March column in the Blackwood Times.
Again my sincerest apologies to all concerned. Whilst embarrassing to admit, this experience has made me feel like I have emerged from a fog.
Meh. There’s a few too many tones of it was all a joke, and it wasn’t my fault – I didn’t know what I was doing, and I’m apologising to people I offended, not admitting that it was offensive full stop (period, for US readers). She doesn’t admit that it was racist – she only admits that people were offended, and then says that it’s just that in this day and age, the remarks were taken out of context.
I didn’t realise that once upon a time there was an appropriate context for racism.
Apparently her apology was up on the Century 21 Hills and Valley website, but I can’t find it this morning. It may well have been a short-lived thing. Saturday is a big real estate day in Adelaide, and heaven forbid that anything interfere with making a sale.
It will be interesting to see what she says in March.
Update:I’ve had an exchange of views with Jo Lemmer in the comments thread. Her apology is on-line, here, in her blog. I apologise for not finding it earlier, and for implying that it must not be there. In my defence, it is not immediately obvious, but I do realise that it is much more timely to get an apology up on a blog instead of having to wait for a web expert to have time to put it up elsewhere, and that it was important to get the apology up quickly.
Further update: I also apologise for drawing the further inference that the apology was not there for sales reasons. Given that the apology was there all along, it was certainly not “hidden” for sales reasons. My inference was incorrect. I also played on stereotypes of real estate agents as people who will say and do anything to get a sale. Like all stereotypes, this is unfair, and I will try not to do it again.
Another update: Jo Lemmer has written some more about this, which I have blogged here: Kudos.
40 responses so far ↓
malcolm // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 8:51 am |
At least it’s progress. I think we should encourage people who are moving it the right direction, even they fall short.
Giovanni // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 12:28 pm |
Apart from the first sentence of paragraph two it’s actually pretty apologetic. More so than a lot of other infuriating recent examples.
M-H // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:18 pm |
“Guilty of ignorance”…? Well, I’m ignorant about a lot of things, for example heart transplants, double-entry booking, zoo management, football leagues, trapeze acrobatics… But I don’t think that’s a reason to feel guilty. I might feel guilty if I ignorantly expressed an opinion about them. That would be stupid and would make me look stupid.
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:29 pm |
Jo Lemmer has made a comment on my “About” page. I think she intended it to go here, so I am copying it here.
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:34 pm |
I have just looked through the entire website again, and I can’t find the apology. It’s not here, the page indexing all of Jo Lemmer’s columns, nor is it on the About us page, and yes, I did click through all the “about” pages. Nor is it on the Media centre and it’s not coming up on the front page either.
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:38 pm |
At face value, the “apology” says that Jo Lemmer misjudged the social climate, that she was just making a joke, that she is ignorant, and that she is sorry for causing offence. These things may well be true. However it does not say sorry for making a racist remark.
I can see that she has attempted to apologise, but thus far, I can see no clear statement to the effect of: “I am sorry that I made a racist remark. I should not have done it, and I will not do it again.”
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:42 pm |
Hi Deborah,
on the left hand side of my website it clearly states JO BLOGS. Please click on and you will see it. It has been there all along.
Regards
JL
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:46 pm |
Jo Lemmer’s blog is here. As she has said, the apology is there, and it has been there for a couple of days.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 1:58 pm |
Where is my apology? Why are you not saying to me ““I am sorry that I made that incorrect remark. I should not have done it, and I will not do it again.”
The difference between you and I is I understand human error and you know what I know you didn’t intend to mislead your readers and I already know that you are sorry even if you haven’t said it.
In anticipation of your apology I accept it and hopefully you will choose to see the positive in what I have attempted rather than attempting to maintain the rage
JL
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:01 pm |
I’ve updated the post, Jo, as you asked, to say that the apology was there all along.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:03 pm |
You still don’t get it. It’s easy to be a faceless blogger having a go. Do the right thing and apologise for your error as I have otherwise you really are guilty for exactly the same you accuse me of. Your comments were inflamatory to a sensitive situation and I doubt you would be so polite if I wasn’t in the house! Step up and do the right thing.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:14 pm |
Your silence actually speaks volumes Deborah. That one little word…what do you fear? Very easy to throw bricks at my window but when the situation is reversed you hide out!
Least I put my full name on what I say and I am not to proud to admit I was wrong..
JL
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:20 pm |
As I’ve said in the post, Jo, I think there’s too much excuse-making in your apology. You say it was a joke, and then you say this:
This is the sentence that worries me, that makes me feel as though you are blaming the current social climate, rather than thinking about whether what you said was wrong, no matter what the social climate is. I know it has been socially acceptable in the past to make racist remarks, and it is no longer socially acceptable to make racist remarks, but surely it has always been morally wrong to make racist remarks.
I’m trying to be polite, and I’ve been very careful to make a distinction between “making a racist remark” and “being racist.” All of us make mistakes from time to time, and it’s very easy to make a racist or a sexist or an ableist remark, even though you are basically a decent person who tries to treat people as you find them, rather than as this or that or the other thing.
So that’s the sticking point for me, in terms of your apology. It’s getting to the heart of it, not excusing it as a failed attempt at humour, or just something that is socially unacceptable these days.
As you can see, other commenters think I’m being too hard on you, and I’m probably out on a limb here. The problem is, I’ve heard far too many apologies framed as, “I’m sorry if I offended you” (in other words, it’s all your fault that you are offended), or “I’m sorry but… whatever” which I’ve written about before: A proper apology. I can see that you are eating humble pie, and good on you for fronting up to do that. What I would also like to hear is a genuine sorry.
I’m very happy to have your comments here. It means that anyone who comes upon this post will hear your side of it, as well as hearing mine. And at the end of the day, despite what you think, my view is not going to be so important at all; I am a very minor league blogger, and you have have a much bigger forum than me, in your Blackwood Times column. That’s the thing people will really be interested in, not what a very obscure blogger has to say.
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:22 pm |
I wasn’t being silent, Jo – I was just typing up quite a long comment.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:25 pm |
I am bashing my head against a brick wall here. You don’t want a genuine sorry. I gave a genuine sorry and it didn’t fit YOUR view of what is genuine. Get over yourself and see that everyone is entitled to put things in THEIR own words. I actually find the way you are trying to make me use your choice of words to say sorry completely wrong and disturbing at best. This will be the topic that I will choose to use next month. I didn’t write my apology for you believe it or not. I wrote it from the heart and that is the difference. If that doesnt suit you TOO BAD!!
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:27 pm |
by the way i meant to say that i don’t much like your apology to me..I forgot you STILL refuse to give me one!!
malcolm // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:35 pm |
Joanne, I think you made a real effort with you apology, but I do see Deborah’s point as well, albeit in a minor way.
Did you see her update at the end of the initial blog post? I think that’s what you are after?
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:41 pm |
Hello Malcolm,
I am asking Deborah to front up and apologise to me personally. Hows this for size
” Joanne I am sorry that I made an incorrect remark. I should not have done it, and I will not do it again.”
This ties in perfectly with what she thinks I should say. Malcolm I am merely making a point. Deborah talks about stereotypes but then belittles me as a real estate agent by suggesting that a sale must have got in the way of my online apology and that it was short lived. If the shoe fits as they say…
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 2:57 pm |
Jo, I updated my post as soon as you told me about your blog, and I linked to it, so that anyone visiting my blog could find it easily for themselves. I also apologised. I am sorry that I missed it. As I said in my update, it wasn’t easy to find, but I realise that there would have been technical reasons for that which would have been beyond your control, and I also realised that you needed to get it up on a timely basis.
I also apologised for the inference that I drew about it not being there at all. I can see that I should have added something to that apology, so as you can see I have made a further update to the post.
I now realise that it was unfair to ask you to say that you wouldn’t make racist remarks again, because we all make mistakes, as I just did with my incorrect inference. What I can say is that I will try not to make incorrect inferences again. As you correctly point out, I made that inference based on my perception of real estate agents as people who will say and do anything to make a sale. That is a stereotypical perception, and like all stereotypes, it is unfair. I apologise for buying into that perception, and playing on it. In future, I will try to take real estate agents at face value, as individuals, instead of buying into and perpetuating negative perceptions of them.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 3:07 pm |
Well I do appreciate what you have said VERY much Deborah. I hope you never find yourself front and centre, under the spotlight where every solitary word that you write is dissected to within an inch of its life. Most bloggers melt when confronted by those that they choose to degrade behind the scenes. I am a decent human being with a good heart who made a big mistake granted but it feels through your postings that in your world it should be seen as FATAL. It is not surprising there is so much prejudice and racism in the world. It is hardly surprising that most choose to ride it out rather than commit to an apology because there are people in the community that will settle for nothing less than a firing squad. I am proud of my apology because it was MINE. A heart felt apology trumps a contrived politically correct one any day in my opinion and you will never make me believe otherwise. I have enjoyed spaaing with you this afternoon but maybe you should look back at your own postings and see how negative they appear and almost one dimensional. Clearly you are far more educated than I will ever be. I do believe some are so smart they are dumb and whilst I don’t believe that of you, please understand that we are all entitled to our own viewpoint. One mans trash is another mans treasure and the same should apply to my apology.
All the best
JL
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 3:11 pm |
Thanks, Jo, and I hope it’s onwards and upwards for you from here.
JOANNE LEMMER // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 3:23 pm |
No probs. I will look forward to dropping by. You have interesting articles and again I wouldn’t have met you had this not occurred so that’s gotta be positive right?? Maybe you should change your title to ‘Not an apology in my opinion’…(just joking. Democracy is alive and well and we all need to ensure it continues!) Have a great weekend and I will leave you all in peace. I didn’t mean to hijack your afternoon and for the record my husband said I should just leave well enough alone..maybe he’s on to something!!
Ps by the way I’m not sure if I was clear in previous post so to put it plainly: Thanks Deborah for your apology, it’s accepted!!
JL
Deborah // Saturday 7 February 2009 at 3:29 pm |
for the record my husband said I should just leave well enough alone
So did mine…
merc // Sunday 8 February 2009 at 7:34 am |
Awe.
For the love of links « blue milk // Sunday 8 February 2009 at 7:51 pm |
[...] The apology you make when you don’t want to admit that you said something racist – it’s … [...]
Helen // Monday 9 February 2009 at 10:32 am |
It irks me that this character was able to extract such a fulsome apology from you by doing the online equivalent of jumping up and down, turning blue, and pouting. She thought she had such a great point with the stereotyping real estate agents bit, but actually no, because real estate agents are not an oppressed class. They are on average white and relatively affluent, and we know they lie because they do it so much and so publicly. (A “Grand Edwardian” built in 1955, anyone!?)*
She still thinks she’s a poor, misunderstood, misquoted innocent. “Ring me when you turn black”? Gah. And she can’t write. Being given a published voice when you write like that is the quintessence of privilege.
*Not this woman, a local genius.
M-H // Monday 9 February 2009 at 10:45 am |
Yes, Helen, but the joke is on her, really, because that’s the great thing about the internet: it’s so easy to expose yourself in ways that may not have the outcome you intended. It seems there may be such a thing as bad publicity after all.
Deborah // Monday 9 February 2009 at 11:37 am |
Hmmm… yes… sort-of.
I try to be very careful about how I use words, and she was actually correct to point out that I had stereotyped real estate agents, and that the apology had been there all along, and therefore that it was wrong to assume that it had been taken down for sales reasons. I’m happy to admit that I got those things wrong. I think also, that given that I was demanding that she should deliver a proper apology, not one that is full of weasel words and terms, then I have to be upfront about admitting if I have done something wrong myself.
I still stand by the rest of my post, but I guess whether or not you agree with my analysis of the apology depends on how you read her apology.
Julie Fairey // Monday 9 February 2009 at 11:44 am |
Wow what a thread! I think the original post, the updates, and the comments speak together as a whole that is pretty clear…
JOANNE LEMMER // Monday 9 February 2009 at 1:33 pm |
Helen,
now it’s my turn to ask “are you for real?”
Your comments about real estate agents:
“White, affluent liars!”
It’s pretty obvious to me who’s got the problem.
JL
Helen // Monday 9 February 2009 at 4:53 pm |
Yes, I do have a problem. Our suburb is overrun with them!
JOANNE LEMMER // Monday 9 February 2009 at 6:51 pm |
Don’t you think you are guilty of the very you accuse me of? I am always happy to take criticism however after a period of time I usually end up finding that the worst of them all are the ones up in arms. My theory is proved yet again!
fuckpoliteness // Monday 9 February 2009 at 9:14 pm |
You have a theory? It didn’t appear so to the naked eye. It seemed as though you had a dumb-arse racist joke and then a tantrum when someone pointed out that ‘it got taken in the wrong way’ doesn’t actually own the fact that the problem was with you thinking you could be glibly racist in a ‘funny’ way.
JOANNE LEMMER // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 11:18 am |
A quickly concocted screen name to hide behind. How entirely predictable!!!
lauredhel // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 2:46 pm |
Joanne, honestly, from someone well outside this particular dispute, you’re not doing yourself any favours. At least try a bit of a google before you make accusations.
fuckpoliteness // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 4:28 pm |
Haha. http://fuckpoliteness.wordpress.com
Who knows why it didn’t come up with the usual link through I was signed in then as now…but you could have found me on other comments on this very blog, not to mention on google.
Hmm…I seem to remember something similar causing you grave offence.
Where is MY apology?? Eyeroll
fuckpoliteness // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 4:33 pm |
Also…hide behind? WTF? Are you that menacing? “You’ll NEVER redecorate in this town again!”, that sort of thing?
JOANNE LEMMER // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 5:34 pm |
Sorry above my poor real estate head! The worst things about the female race is the cattiness and the claws! It’s no wonder so many turn off from reading when it gets to this level. As a dumb, can’t write, white real estate agent liar…i’ll just jump in my benz and slink away to my outrageously over priveliged life in the leafy adelaide hills! Ciao for now, it’s been fun gals!
Deborah // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 9:18 pm |
Ummm … we’ve possibly done this topic to death now, and all sorts of things have been revealed. If you want to keep on discussing it, that’s fine by me, but I won’t contribute to the conversation here anymore. I will continue to moderate the thread. NB: so far I have approved every comment that has been submitted – I just wanted to make sure that there were a few breathing spaces.
Ka kite ano.
Paul Williams // Tuesday 10 February 2009 at 9:51 pm |
There’s more restraint and consideration going on here, amongst the obvious frustration of commenters, than’s usually the case with the vast majority of blogs. That, and the subject matter, makes this actually remarkable.
Deborah, I admire your tenacity and the respect you’ve shown Jo. By that I mean the respect which manifests itself in not treating someone with whom you strongly disagree as incapable of responding to criticism.
Jo, I don’t know how you feel now looking back over this thread (and I’m picking your not a regular blogger) but hope the press coverage includes not just the ill-judged “joke” but also your subsequent apology.