your post has prompted me to do a little thinking about how all of our conversations about complex working arrangements, and better work-life balance, are enabled by the high value we place on our own work.

and how this is possible because we place very very low value on the work of the people we purchase the necessities of life from.

That’s how we’ve handled it, although it was just as much luck as design. It’s still hard for two salaried people to get that kind of leeway in the workplace, at least judging from friends’ experiences. But maybe less than in the past?

As long as we don’t add to the equation “for both the mother and the father”, the “Mommy track” will be alive and well. As I’ve written elswhere, to me, the nearest thing to a solution will be the breakdown of rigid gender roles. Ones’ career may slow down during the childbearing years, but if men and women are equally likely to reduce their working hours, it won’t equate to permanent career suicide. That’s my theory anyway and I think it’s reasonable.

And given the change in work practices, and increased longevity, should 10 years child-caring be viewed more pejoratively than 10 years travelling?

Bingo, this is a huge demographic argument that is hardly ever noticed in the “work vs family” arguments. One – we’re living longer, heaps longer. Two – when we talk about work and family, we’re talking mainly about children when young. sure, you don’t want to work 16 hour days when they’re teenagers or you might end up with Corey Worthington, but the idea that you give up paid work and make chilraising your entire career until you die, is really dead and gone. We just need to show the older cohort that childraising is a worthy project – not “sitting at home”, rather working in a different area.

For myself, I’m constantly dreaming of a 3 day a week job, but I don’t believe one exists with the level of responsibility and stimulation that my current (full time) one has.

That’s it in a nutshell for me. I need a certain amount of money to meet the outgoings but aside from this, I don’t need the other stuff. It’s only the desire to have meaningful work that keeps me in full-time employment.

I’m not sure how things will work out for me – I’m nearly thirty and would like to have children soon, but am just finishing a PhD and my partner needs to be in Norway for at least a few years… It’s interesting (and sobering) to read about what other people are struggling with.

I also manage a team of 30 people (or so) and so I’m often torn when recruiting between my philosophical need to create work life balance, and how much easier it is to have “ideal workers”.

I’m acquainted with the woman who writes the Workspace column in the AFR, and asked her once to do a piece on how to create part time jobs that work. Her resulting article concluded that job sharing was the best outcome (but that didn’t fix your school holiday needs).

I have someone in my team now who works a 9 day fortnight, 9 – 2, which is my most flexible team member. But you’re right, it does somewhat rely on other people being around when you are not, and it can’t be done for all of the jobs in my team.

For myself, I’m constantly dreaming of a 3 day a week job, but I don’t believe one exists with the level of responsibility and stimulation that my current (full time) one has.

My partner and I are very lucky in that we are both self-employed, and our extracurricular activities, crafts and writing, can fit into the evenings if need be. But neither of us is on a career path, and when we chose to have our third child we accepted that we’d have to keep doing what we’re doing at least for another five years plus the nine months of gestation. As it turns out, just this week the opportunity fell on my lap to apply for a fantastic job, and for the first time I had an opportunity to actually realise what those constraints mean – although perhaps not quite regret them, since I like what I do.

My family manages at the moment, just, with one child though we’ve both made compromises. I worked four days, one from home for six months and passed up some opportunities. My wife works four days and has also had to forgoe some career opportunities.

What’s ridiculous about all this is that there’s strong economic and social incentives to have families, what’s missing is real commitment to make work fit family life and not the other way around. I suspect your conclusion, that we need to completely re-imagine work, is right. I note that this is essentially the view of academic Barbara Pocock also.